I first realized I was lost and felt the Lord's Spirit drawing me when I was nine years old and I made an effort to seek the Lord but stopped short of seeking Him with all my heart for some reason. I still knew inside I wasn't saved, but I told my Sunday School teacher I was when she inquired although I felt dishonest and her inquires really bothered me. As a adolescent boy I became involved in a "club" or what might today be called a gang. We were devoted to do any evil thing we were capable of at that age. I can still remember the thrill I felt in joining this group and experiencing a freedom from parental and moral restraint. While with this group one day I was deeply disturbed by a song that I heard and trembled as I thought of some of the bad things we had done. On another occasion while performing an act of vandalism we were surprised by the owner of some property we were defacing and although we were able to run a couple of blocks to escape from him I became very contrite and decided to walk back and tell him of my part in the damages and take whatever I received of him. As I approached him in tears he simply forgave me and received me warmly. I think that the mercy he showed me probably helped me later to repent and trust God's mercy at a later time.

     At age 13 I again became convicted of being lost at a revival at Fairview Memorial and started seeking again but had a sense of despair of ever finding Him. On wednesday night July 14 however I heard Brother  W.T. Russell preaching. I heard his voice as the voice of Jesus speaking to me when he said "Come let us reason together" My heart was opened adn i was able to reason with the Lord when he said to my heart that I must forsake all things that I might trust in other than Jesus alone if I was to be his disciple. I had a loth of confidence in my mother but at this time I became willing to trust the Lord from my heart I know you can save me now. I received my peace right there in my seat while the service was still in progress. Later the next night one of the dear sisters(Iva Rather) got up from her seat in the amen corner and walked back to me. Normally I would have been ver frightened by her approach but at this time I felt joy because with her encouragement I was able to publicly confess my salvation as she walked up with me to the front of the church where I told everone what had happened in my heart the night before. 

     In the same sermon preached the night of my salvation I heard a scripture that filled my heart with great joy "Godliness is profitable in all things having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come" I said in my heart it sure is. Over many years I have repeatedly been reminded of how profitable that night was when for the first time I trusted Jesus alone. When He visits me with His word and His presence there is not greater joy in my life.


                                             Sincerely,
                                             Michael J. Collins, M.D.


Form Published: 8/8/2006 8:48:56
Date/TimeTestimony
08/17/2006 07:21:01  Three weeks in clinic had passed and I knew that there was something special about Mike Collins, M.D. What I didn't understand was this: what was special about him was actually a who was special about him. I was a third year medical student at the time and had rarely attended church as a child. Honestly, my main concerns at that point in my life included meeting with friends, dollars, and where my next meal was coming from. God never seriously crossed my mind and Jesus was a total unknown to me. One thing I did know, thought, was that this doctor with whom I was working was empowered with something I didn't understand. Twelve hour days were the norm and we never missed a patient or an opportunity to serve. On top of all this, he had a love for his patients that I had never seen in any of my previous encounters with physicians and it fascinated me. Well, maybe it scared me more than it intrigued me.  After three hard weeks in the Brownsville clinic, I found myself in the Nashville airport, surrounded with baggage filled with medicine and supplies for a week long medical trip to Jamaica. Admittedly, I was nervous about the medicines; I knew that they may not make it through Jamaican customs. A kind gentleman had donated 30 bags of powerful intravenous antibiotics that would save as many lives if delivered into the proper hands. The peace that the group exhibited not only surprised me, but it perturbed me that they were not nearly as worried about is as I was.  There was not doubt that our group of twelve were dedicated followers of Jesus and were strongly desiring to please God with their efforts. Quickly, I had allotted them in my mind into the "Bible beating group" and my guard was up. Something caught my attention, though. There was something different about these people. These people were bold, loving and comforting; they had some intangible quality of joy and faithfulness that I didn't understand but knew that I wanted to be a part of. They talked and acted like they "had" something and they deeply respected the term Christian. At the time, my view of a Christian was a person who lives in America and make some attempt to do the right thing. Honestly, I had no idea what this term meant and it showed in my life. If you would have asked me, I would have said, "sure, I'm a Christian" but I sensed a difference between me and them. I "had" nothing in relation to my Christianity. For me to call myself a Christian; nothing could have been farther from the truth.  Arriving in Jamaica was a wonderful feeling. The moment I stepped into the hot air bath after exiting the place, the magical ambience of Jamaica reassured me that this would be a great week. Half of our medicines made it through customs and we were greeted by local missionary, Brother Rick, and we were off on our adventure. Two hours journey through winding hills, we were deep within the Jamaican rainforest. At the peak of a hill, the bus turned sharply and I noticed that we had entered the New Vision Orphanage. The bus was surrounded with children of all ages and sizes wanting to talk to us and greet us.  My job that week was to help Dr. Collins in clinic, examining and treating patients in the rugged makeshift clinic on the orphanage grounds. Some of the Jamaicans walked several miles to be seen at the clinic and people lined up far down the street to be seen, I'll never forget the prayers of the people over us before we opened the clinic. It truly broke my heart how much love was poured out on us.  The seclusion of the clinic was unparalleled, It had been years since I had time to be so alone, gathering my thoughts and thinking clearly. Also, the love I was receiving from the patients surprised me and opened my heart. Nonetheless, I still had my own agendas and I was on a clear mission to achieve the best grade possible form Dr. Collins. For this reason, I cordially accepted an invitation to attend a local church service one evening. I figured that if church was important to him, then my being there might sharply improve my grad for the clinical rotation.  The church was exactly what you would expect out of a Hollywood movie set in the rainforest; a privitive cement slab with an open air rool surrounded with lush vegetation. Makeshift houses lined the dirt road as we climbed the mountain leading up to the church. The local people greeted us as we arrived and i was very surprised to observe the service there. Dancing, singing, and preaching filled the church and, at times. I wondered if we were not in a disco instead of a church. Nonetheless, a clear Word was preached, and, for the first time, I truly heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Despite what I believed or how I felt about anything, I inherited sin from my ancestors and had committed sin in my life. It only took one sin to separate me from God. For the first time, I realized that I had no way to reconcile myself to God on my own; I had nothing to offer Him of any worth. What I needed was for Him to forgive me.  I can't say that I really understood what was being said but I knew enough to know that I needed what these people had. I'll never forget the feeling I had when Brother Rick asked me where I would go when I died. I had never really considered it. I had heard about heaven and I wanted to go to heaven and just figured that going there was dependent on doing the right thing while alive and I told him so. He said you better go up to that altar, start praying and find out how to get to heaven.  I had been filled with such an overwhelming feeling of angst; I didn't know what to do. Anxiety does not describe my level of conviction at that moment. I felt as if I had been wounded in my heart and I couldn't bear it. Immediately, I fell on my knees at the altar in the front of the church. I had never really prayed before so I just kept asking God to forgive me. And all of a sudden, nothing happened.  That night and the next day I could not escape my horrible and dreadful feeling. If it did not leave me, I knew that I could not tolerate it; I might have died from mental overload. I sat and explained the feeling to some of the group and, for the first time, Jesus was explained to me.  We all are born into sin. Because of this we are separated from Him. But God loves you so much, even if you do things against His command. He has provided a way for you to come back to Him and enter fellowship with Him. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to earth to live a life without sin. His life was one of faith and the many miracles he performed including being raised from the dead were evidence that He was God's perfect son. He would be innocently convicted of crimes and would die an innocent death at the hands of man. god is just and righteous and, in His eyes, there must be a punishment or a payment for sin. Jesus's death satisfied the fair payment of every man's sin debt. There is only one caveat; to receive this payment for your sin and to enter fellowship with God, you must admit that you have sinned and believe that Jesus did, indeed, die for your sins. This belief is evidenced in your life by your following Him alone and doing His Will. Once you believe, nothing can keep you out of heaven.  That night I fell down on that altar again and begged God to forgive me for the life I had lived. I told Him that my life had accounted for nothing and it would be useless unless He forgave me. And, He did. Later I would find out that God will always forgive you when you ask for forgiveness in a genuine way.  Immediately, the feeling of conviction left me and I was overjoyed! I stood up and yelled "God is so Good!" It resonated in my marrow, I meant it so deeply. Finally I had found peace. To give you an idea how deep the peace ran through my soul, that night wild dogs broke into our quarters dragging chains behind them and I slept through it... the peace that transcends all understanding.  The next day, I was convicted to change my life. God began speaking to my heart and challenged me fo follow His commands and do His will. While I have failed Him many times since then, He still loves me and I love Him but I have walked with Him and He knows me. Now, I have access to speak with the creator of the universe whenever I want and He helps me, teaches me, and empowers me. Before I knew Him, life had no hope, little real meaning, and no true joy. He had given me these things; Joy, Hope, Love, Worth and Peace. Accepting His gift is the most important thing I have or ever will do.  Thank you and may the Lord make His face to shine upon you. 
 
Michael R. Farmer, M.D.   mfarmer@wfubmc,edu
08/17/2006 07:45:50





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